I dont get time to watch many movies these days. I barely get time to read. But the last three texts I have consumed have made me think very seriously about the meaning of life. All three texts have the main characters meeting a moment of clarity shortly before their demise. A young man, a middle aged man and an old man, all figuiring out what they want or who they are when its all to late...
Ive always been a dreamer. Always thinking about the future and never living in the now. This subject makes you think, whats the point in planning for a future that may not come?
I have a lengthy bus ride home, but I have found the last few weeks, that it has gone very quickly. Purely because I have my head buried in an A4 notebook planning my goals, planning my future. Today, I sit in my office consumed by the boring tasks of my day in, day out job, thinking about when I will find my moment of clarity. When will I stop working for what is to come and start working for what is now?
I remember I used to speak to an elderly lady. Every Thursday. I started when I was about 12 and she passed away when I was 14. I loved her energy for life. She was 94 when I starting visiting. She was more lively than anyone I had met before. She shared with me tales of her many adventures around the world, her tale of her own naughty romances and finally settling down with 'the one'. She taught me to play piano, we read stories together and even at her ripe age, dreamed together. Toward the end of her life, I had stopped visiting. I had started High-School and thought it was more important to screw around with friends than visit an elderly lady. What I didnt realised was the profound effect that she had on me. Still to this day I think of her. Her spirit inspires me.
Im 19. I feel satisfied with very little in my life. I do the same thing everyday and I hate it. I think about how I could please my inner child but all I can think about is how dissapointed she is with me. I havent travelled, like I always wanted. I didnt go to University, like I always wanted. I dont have a smart and sassy outlook on life, like I always wanted. I am just a ghost who is passing through the motions of a very boring exsistence.
I keep saying Im going to change but I am most unfortunatley blessed with the un-canny ability to procrastinate...I procrastinate life...
The point of this blog is to ask, do we only meet our moment of clarity, a moment of sheer brilliance and happyness shorty before we pass? Is that the only time we are going to say 'Ohhhh, I get life now,' or 'I get why I was here'? or is it just a myth to comfort us? Do we ever truly know why we are? Do we ever stop climbing the staircase of life and just sit back and enjoy?
'
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992) '
Poppit
xo
I think few are ever satisfied with their life as it stands. And those that claim to be often are fooling themselves. Especially when we are younger. We are finding our way in the world still.
ReplyDeleteI have often been asked why I haven't gone to university. I have lost count of the times I have heard the line "you're so smart why aren't you at university?" to which I always respond: I don't want to go to university unless I know 100% that what I am going to study is something I want to do for the rest of my life. Until I have that moment of clarity I will simply live life.
I think the biggest thing to do in life is to take it as it comes. If you have goals then set them and aim for them but life is not something to be controlled to the minute detail. We must let it flow as it wishes. If we don't we are likely to miss out on many of the best experiences life has to offer.
As for the moment of clarity... I think it is something that comes with wisdom. Without wisdom we dismiss many experiences in our lives. With wisdom we can see what made us who we are. We can see what got us where we are and we can be happy with what life has given us. If we take a step back and think about what we need as opposed to what we want in life then we will better be able to appreciate what we are given.
Wow that was a big response =0