That Singular Girl

Since moving and well and truly becoming a singular, I find it hard to take myself along to places and events that I normally attended with another. Today, while standing at the bus stop I couldn’t help but wonder when these places/events became something for people in pairs or more. Take the movies for example; commonly it is an event that you go to with another... When the hell did that become the rule?
I was talking to a friend recently and I told her I was going to the cinemas alone. She laughed and made fun of me (no, she isn’t a great friend but that’s a tale for another day!) and since then i haven’t been able to even think about it. Currently there are a million and one movies that I want to see and only today did i even consider going.

However I got outside the cinema, a green tea with fig jelly in hand all pumped to see ‘Up in the Air’ and I couldn’t go in. I didn’t want to be ‘that’ person. All I could hear was my (old) friend talking about how she loved seeing singulars in the cinema and throwing popcorn at them or making up fake stories about them...
Before I heard this particular person dissing people who are confident enough to go to cafes alone, I was one of those people. There is nothing better than sitting in your favourite cafe with a good book/magazine and just relaxing. Now, I always go to bed telling myself that that is my big plan for the next day only to inevitably talk myself out of it.

Even going out to a bar and having a nice cold beer on the way home from work; I used to love doing that! It was the perfect way to end the day, now and in my current situation, I come home, get some hideous takeout and cower in my room hoping I don’t have to listen to one of Crazy’s sex romps!

My biggest issue about this whole situation is, I don’t mind being alone. I find comfort in not having to make small chit-chat or the having to review a movie five seconds after you’ve seen it. I like having my own thoughts, un-interrupted by someone slurping across the table from me. I like my own company, it’s just now I am so scared of how other people see me when I’m alone that I’m to paranoid to even consider going out by myself.

The reality of this whole situation is that, most people who are out aren’t paying ANY attention to you. They aren’t wondering why you’re alone and they aren’t making assumptions about how you could have a million cats back home. Its all in my head because one girl, one girl who can’t even walk into a grocery store alone, has evil thoughts about people who are comfortable enough in themselves to enjoy their own company.

My goal for the next few weeks is to become comfortable in going out on my own again. I am going to try and see a movie by myself and start going to cafe’s again.
Do you find there are any places you can’t go without someone else?

Poppit xo